my babies

my babies

Monday, October 9, 2017

Learning To Worship

Yesterday at church we had a guest Pastor in to preach for the morning and evening services.  He was so good!  He was such a dynamic speaker and he really just did a great job.  His topic was on what worship really is.  I so needed to hear the things that God had for me through this message.  I have been struggling lately with just  a dry spell I have been having with the Lord.  The Lord is still there and I know that but it is me.  All me.  I am just dry right now and i just don't know why.  So yesterday I sensed a rekindling of a passion I haven't felt in a while.  To dive into His word and to sing with abandon.  To lift my hands in praise.  We sang the song "I Need You" and tears rolled down my face.  I often cry in the singing time because it moves my spirit so but yesterday I really did need the Lord.  And He showed up.  This Pastor spoke on using our common sense, our Godly sense and most importantly...our Obedience-Sense.  Therein lies my problem.  I don't obey.  I'm no better than my 5 year old grand daughter who gets in trouble for not obeying.  A lot.  When God wants me to act or do something a certain way I for the most part do not.  Or I grumble about it in my heart.  Where this attitude has come from I am not sure.  I can blame it on lots of things.  I am tired.  which I am.  I am over committed.  My job is stressful.  Family demands.  And the list goes on and on.  But it boils down to my own free will.  I choose to be disobedient.  I let the world get in the way and I let Cindy get in the way.  She is a willful one, that Cindy!  But I am starting afresh and thank you Jesus, He gives us a fresh pass each and every day.  I am learning to worship the Lord with all my heart, my mind and my soul.  To worship Him with all I do.  Now this doesn't mean I go about with my hands up and singing praise songs all the time.  It is an attitude of the heart that needs to be set in my steps.  Each task I do I can do it with an attitude of worship.  Is that hard?  You better believe it.  But it is what God wants and He will equip me if I don't act like such a ding dong and put on that bad attitude that I have been wearing as of late.  That attitude makes look fat, by the way.  Because my heart and mind sure have been heavy lately.  But I am learning to worship.  To listen more, to pray more to sit at the feet of Jesus more.  I believe that is all He wants out us anyway.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Hopping up on my trusty soapbox for a minute

Last weekend on all the NFL games I watched multiple players sit or kneel instead of standing for our national anthem.  My opinion is just that....mine.  So here goes.  Shame on you.  To do that to the honoring of our flag is not only disrespectful but just plain out ignorant.  Go to another country to play ball for 10 bazillion dollars a year where no young man (or woman) would risk their life to protect your freedoms.  The flag is so much more than just a piece of cloth waving in the wind.  It is a representation to the world of who and what we are.  And believe it or not...we are still the United States of America.  The best country in the world to live in.  Name me another one where I can kick or throw a ball for millions of dollars and have endorsements fall all over me for another several million dollars and be on the news every single day of my life if I make enough noise!  I love this country...even with all its faults.  I love it and am so grateful to live here.  When I witness all the wrongs in this country it doesn't make me hate my country.  It makes me hate the wrongs.  My daddy served in the Army and was in Korea.  I would never humiliate him by sitting during our national anthem.  He would wear me out and rightly so.  Have times changed since he served.  Yes they have.  some for the better and some for worse.  But this country is still worth standing up for.  The KKK, Nazi-right groups, white supremacists and Black Lives Matter are all hate groups.  All of them.  Peoples Lives matter.  All people.  To sit down right in front of a 70 year old veteran saluting our flag is a kick in the gut to all servicemen and women.   Grow up.  Do unfair things happen in this world.  Yes.  Is life fair to all people all the time?  No.  Deal with it.  When I see so called movie stars rant and rave about how much they hate our President and all the things he would like to see come to pass it makes me wonder....why do they not fix what is broken in their eyes?  Meryl Streep is rich enough to build 20 homeless shelters and to feed hungry children for years....She is just one of dozens who always seem to gripe and complain but never seem to do anything. I could honestly rant on and on about the so-called issues these flag hating, President hating people....but then I am the same as them.  All I know for sure is this....Jesus is coming back and then every knee will bow.  Every.  Single.  One. 

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Learning To Serve

This morning in church our Pastor preached on being a servant.  Serving is a hard word for us to relate to.  we all love to be served and we like it when others see us serve others.  But true servanthood is hard.  Doing the things that no one sees.  Filling in when needed for something we don't like or don't feel qualified to do.  We should not pick and choose our service to others because then let's face it....some stuff never would get picked.  Ideally their should not ever even be a need for people to jump in and do tasks.  But we all know that some people do tons of stuff and others do....well...nothing.  Why??  There are so many opportunities to serve the body of Christ and our local community that we could all find some place to serve.  But ultimately true servanthood begins within me.  Do I do things to be recognized and praised?  I hope I don't.  I really want to help and serve others out of love for them and for my savior, Jesus Christ.  He, alone, has given me the ability to do various things to serve others and if I don't use those abilities?  Well...that is really sin.  I have the same amount of time every other person has and what I do with it is up to me.  I go to work...I can serve there....I come home...I can serve there....I visit my parents, my kids, my in-laws...serving opportunities.  The Pastors' sermon really convicted me about m attitude towards serving.  Do I resent serving?  At times I do.  I'm tired for one thing.  I have lots of things on my plate right now.  But that really is no excuse.  I need to reorganize my time and my priorities and then I can be a better servant. Now we cannot serve everyone all the time and that is what makes the body of Christ so great.  If we all serve in some capacity we will get the job done.  At times we all need to be different parts of the body.  Sometimes you may be the hands and feet of Him. You will do the leg work.  Another time you may be the heart of Him and just pray.  Other times you may shoulders of Him and bear some heavy weight.  But we all can be something of Him.  Servanthood??  I'm still learning.

Monday, September 4, 2017

First Days

Last week was the first week of school here and my sweet Savannah started Kindergarten!  Piper started the second grad.....I can't believe that!  Time just goes way too fast.  Piper loves her teacher, Mrs. Dally, and she has a great little class of friends.  I am so glad she loves school and learning.  she really is so very smart and she tries to do her best all the time.  So proud!!  Savannah did fantastic.  I was really nervous that she would cry but she did not cry one bit!  I asked her at the end of the first day if she cried and she just beamed when she told me she didn't!  So proud of her too!  We have lots of new kids this year.  We have a new high school that opened for the first time right down the road from my elementary school and we are the feeder school for this high school.  so everyone wants to attend the new school.  Our enrollment really jumped with new people moving into our area.  The new high school is very nice and so state of the art.  Lots of incentives....makes me want to go back to school...not!  I loved school as a child but the thoughts of going back to school now make me want to cringe.  I love the little kids at elementary age level but I would never want to be a teenager again for no amount of money.  Just watching all the little ones and their excitement over seeing their friends again and playing together and eating lunch together is super sweet and fun.  I have already started to pick out the ones that i know need extra prayers.  I pray for my school and the children and staff there often but there are always those few that need extra prayers.  Some little ones just live hard lives.  So much weight on tiny shoulders that just should not be.  I am just so glad that my own grandbabies love their teachers and school and seem to be settling in just fine.

Erica bringing in the troops for the first day!

Sweet Piper hugging Savannah goodbye!

Getting all settled into her seat at her table.  All smiles!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Hard Prayers

Last week I had my "sisters" over for an evening of fun, fellowship and prayer time.  We have not gotten together in a while and it was a much needed night.  There were nine of us and all found show up and I know that was just a God-thing.  Our lives are all so busy and just full.  Most of us had "minor" prayer requests to share with the others and all of us had praises to offer but there were two of us that just broke my heart.  One of my sweet sisters is losing her husband to brain cancer.  Probably sooner than later.  She just broke down.  You see....they found each other later in life and after both had devastating divorces.  Both were single for many years but God brought them together and now....this.  She will most likely be a widow at just 57 years old.  The other sweet sister is a widow and has been for 4 years at the age of 54 she lost her high school sweetheart to cancer.  And the funny thing is these ladies have children that are now married to one another and a grandson they share.  God is teaching one to help the other through a horrible season.  My dear friend that is a widow also broke down.  She is so very lonely....a feeling I totally get.  But she has also never grieved her husband.  She has and is the "strong" one.  I totally get that too.  Now that I am in my 50's and have married the absolute love of my life my loneliness has dissolved and I cannot imagine life without my husband.  I just weep at the thought of going through that like my friends are and have.  That sounds so very selfish.  Why them and not me?  I don't know.  God is sovereign and He has a plan.  A good plan.  It may not seem good but that is what He always offers His children.  His plans are good.....because He is good.  These are hard prayers.  Hard.  Life on this earth is sometimes so very hard.  But this is not our home and truly we are passing through.  For the believer our home is with Jesus.  For eternity.  Forever.  As time here either drags by or flies it is still only temporary.  I was praying this morning for my friend because her husband is going to try one last treatment to give him a little more time.  What kind of time?  I don't know....just time.  My prayers were hard and I ended up saying to the Lord that I just didn't know how to pray.  The right words would not come.  I am so thankful that Jesus stands at the right hand of the Father to intercede for these hard prayers we send up.  So thankful.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Winding Down

Even though it is only mid August, summer is winding down.  Tomorrow our youngest, Leah, goes back to college as a sophomore.  She is excited but also her summer was super fast.  Only a week off because of a great internship she had the opportunity to take.  She got a contract for another one next summer.  We are super proud of her and all she has learned and is applying.  Such a smart girl.  Savannah is getting ready to start kindergarten and I could just cry my eyes out over that!  Piper will be in the second grade.....cue extreme wailing and fit pitching!  Time is just flying!  Brooks and Kyra are soon turning three years old and Finley is 17 months today.  And on a side note....I have been married six whole months today!!  School will start soon and I go back in less than two weeks.  In a couple of years I will be winding down myself.  I plan on retiring in 2 1/2 more school years and for that I wish time would fly right on by.  As I look around I see lots of things winding down.  Leaves are getting that super dark green, flowers are starting to dry up and fall away.  Gardens are not producing.  I have picked the last of the cucumbers and green beans and are down to just a few tomatoes.  Summer is my favorite time of the year for lots of reasons.  I love the heat, the pool, the time off, the kids around all the time, cookouts and all sorts of activities.  But with this season coming to a quick close there is the excitement of autumn.  Football, harvest festivals, pumpkin patches, cooler weather, crisp air and lots of family holidays to get ready for.  I should not look at time as a winding down process but as a series of corners to turn.  Sections of time that hold all kinds of things that God has laid out for us.  He has prepared all our days for us and nothing takes Him by surprise.  I love that.  With God, there is no winding down....only looking ahead.  There is always something that He has in store for His children.  So as I am watching this summer trickle away I can look forward to the school year ahead with the assurance that the Lord knows what is coming and that His plans are always good.  And before I know summer will be here!

Thursday, August 3, 2017

I said No

Last night at church we were getting things ready for our annual "Community Day".  This is an event where we give away tons of clothes, filled book bags for students, free haircuts, snacks and just reaching out and loving on our local community.  Through this event we have gotten some wonderful families to come to our church and many have come to know the Lord.  Such a simple way to reach out to others.  Before I left church another lady and myself went on a tour of our new children's/youth rooms that we have been working on for months.  This was real an old storage area that we just revamped but it looks fantastic.  The guy at church who heads up all the electronics...sound/video/security systems...took us on the tour.  When we were done he asked if she and I were interested in learning the sound system.  He smiled and said he had been after me for a while to learn all this stuff.  And he has asked me several times if I would be interested.  I have always just kind of smiled and walked away.  Last night....I said no.  And I meant it.  I was kind about it but I just told him that my hands are in 100 pots at church and I really can't fit one more thing on my buffet size plate.  And you know what???  I went home and did not feel bad at all for saying no!  It is so true that 20% of the people at churches do 100% of the work.  This is true almost everywhere but I have been praying that others step up.  And that is exactly what needs to be.  They need to step up and just do it.  If everyone kept the nursery one would keep it once every three years!!!  If everyone cooked a meal for a family with a need you might cook one a year!  The list goes on and on.  The church body as a whole needs to step up.  Last week at VBS I headed up the snack time for the children.  To say I am on the "We don't like her very Much" list for the youth is a slight understatement.  I did not provide a separate snack and drink station for them.  I informed them they could partake with their crew of kids as they helped them with their snacks and that this was not their personal break time.  VBS is not a job.  It is 3 hours of the day for 5 days.  You do not need a break.  I had the full support of the children's and youth pastors on this topic.  They need to learn to way or another.  So do we as adults.  We need to learn to serve.  Jesus came here to serve.  If we are to be like Him......we need to serve.  Everyone does.  So when I said "No" was so you could say...Yes