Almost a year

It is snowing today.  Quiet.  Peaceful.  Falling so softly.  Just a beautiful snow.  I may post a picture later but.....we will see.  Earlier today I walked past my husband since we are both home today and he reached out for me.  I gave him a quick kiss and said, "You know, we have almost been married a whole year."  We both agreed that it had been so fast and hardly seemed like any time at all.  He commented that years go faster, babe, when you are older.  He is so right.  So very fast.  I still can't believe I am married yet almost a full year.  The magic is still there for me.  I still have butterflies when I see him.  Still can't wait for him to come home.  A friend of mine just got remarried at school a couple of months ago.  She was a widow for close to 9 years. She told me yesterday that after this past weekend she almost called her new husband to come back....she needed him.  He lives in their home a few hours away and she still lives here until the end of the school year and until she sells her home.  She told me she didn't want to "need" him like she does.  When you are alone for a long time whether by death or divorce....you get very independent.  I don't like to say hard but ....maybe a little hardened.  Softening that takes some time.  I am softening little by little.  Depending on this man is coming easier.  Knowing he will never purposefully disappoint me or hurt me is sinking in little by little.  Knowing how much he really loves me is tendering this heart.  I told her to give it some time and she will grow to love her need of him.  I have.  Even though it is so scary when you have been alone for a long time.  It has been almost a whole year as a wife and my life is so different in this marriage.  Things are so different this time.  I told him the other night before we went to bed just how thankful I was that he was just so easy.  There is no tension, no fears, no anxieties with him.  I know what to expect for the most part.  I never walk on eggshells.  Marriage is not easy and I never want to diminish it with a word like that.  Marriage should be work.  It is a constant effort of dying to ones self and placing your spouse above yourself.  My man makes this so easy though.  He is so kind and so patient.  This first year is going so fast.....I want fifty more.  It pulls at my heart something fierce that I probably will not get fifty.  I think that makes him and our marriage all the more precious.  I am sitting upstairs in our office right now.  Watching the snow fall.  Thinking....almost a year.  Thank you, Lord.  Thank you.