I really need a "Life Alert"

I spend a lot of time alone.  Well, not all alone....I do have Penny.  So when I have the occasional home accident...like y'all don't fall down or fall out of bed or tumble either up or down your stairs???!  I fall down more than the average adult.  I am either going too fast or not looking where I am going or most likely I am doing 2095 things at one time.  So yesterday I thought I would help my daddy get up the wood he has laying in piles all over his yard from the recent ice storm and the damage it left.  I helped him haul the wood away and then I thought I would just pick up some of the 74 million pine cones that are all over their yard.  I needed a bucket.  If you know me then you know I am somewhat considered a bucket hoarder.  You can never ever have too many buckets in my opinion.  The uses are endless!  So I saw a really good one with a handle and everything in front of my car in the garage.  Instead of thinking....I kind of crawled over the girls little John Deere tractor wagon to reach for this bucket when what do you know???  My foot caught the trailer part of this tractor and the next thing you know I was on the garage floor.  And did my knee and thigh and well...my whole entire left side of my body hurt.  Hurt???  It was screaming!  Or maybe that was me??  Whatever.  Let's just say I was writhing in pain as much as I could in about an eight inch space.  And no, I am not eight inches wide so my writhing was limited.  So did someone come to my rescue?  Nope.  Penny did come and look at me but that was about it.  Stupid dog...see if I pet her again.  So I hefted myself up and I hobbled out to the driveway where I did see my mama.  I put on a brave face and even picked up a few pine cones but then I said I needed to take a bath and get ready for bed.  It was 6:30.  I limped to the bathroom and just the effort to sit down in the tub was awful.  I scarfed down four advil and wrapped up in a throw on the couch.  I did get to watch my two favorite shows...The Voice and The Blacklist and then I hobbled to beds where just turning over was awful.  All day it has just throbbed and my knee is swollen and kind of squishy.  Good grief.  I not only need life alert I really need assisted living.  I do like living alone.  I mean I get to do what I want, when I want.  I don't answer to  anyone and I set my own schedule but there are times when I do wish someone was here to at least pour me into bed when I take these tumbles.  Or maybe I just need to slow down, look over sketchy situations and choose my approaches a little wiser.  That would be smart and a lot easier to explain than a big ole life alert hanging around my neck.