Hey Y'all,
I, for one, am glad to see this year leave. With the exception of a few events this has been the toughest, hardest and saddest year of my life. I am looking forward to 2010 with a hope that is delicate and fragile in it's expectations. This past year I watched my beautiful daughter get married. That was a wonderful event. But for most of the year I have truly struggled with grief. Deep, gut-wrenching grief. I have watched my marriage of 26 years die. I cannot express how horrible this has been in words or in print. It is an agonizing death that just does not seem to stop. My husband wants another life and it is not with me. Not only has this shattered my heart it has ripped my family to shreds. There is this huge cloud over my home and it drips constantly. This region has had tremendous rainfall this year and it has fit my life to a tee. Dreary. I have felt all my joy just drain away. Sure, there have been moments of laughter. Times of happiness. But happiness is fleeting. Joy is deep rooted from God. On Christmas morning when I opened that precious little bib. I felt a flame of joy leap back up in my soul. It has grown and gotten stronger every minute. This baby has refueled my joy. God is just so good. Joy will rise from the ashes of this year. As sad as I am about the end of my marriage, I am overjoyed about being a grandmother. Overjoyed. Can there be too much joy? I don't think so. I can wallow and grieve and cry and dwell. Or I can allow God to begin a healing of my heart with the knowledge that He has plans for me that are good. I do not know what 2010 holds for my fractured family but God does and it is meant for good. I have prayed for healing many times. Healing of my marriage, healing of friends, family and my own heart. God is the Great Healer and His loving balm is His Word. This new year I am making more time to stay in God's Word and commit to learn and apply it straight to my aching heart. I am sure there will be more tears, dreary days and nights, lonliness that is barely bearable but....God is my portion. And come August I will have my own little piece of joy to hold and whisper the love of Jesus in that precious ear.
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
My Babies
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
The most precious gift...ever....
Hey Y'all,
Today is Christmas Day. How humbling to think that God gifted us with His Presence by coming to this world as a precious baby. Just for all of us. It is amazing to me how gracious God continues to be to us even when we are so undeserving. This year for Christmas I got the most precious gift I suppose I will ever receive. I cannot wait until I can get my hands on this precious bundle from heaven. There will never be a grandchild more loved. To be part of this life is such a priviledge and an honor. To influence a new life is such a responsibility. I am already praying that I do not let this little darling down.
Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift...the gift of Your Holy Son that was sent here to save us all......including this precious grandbaby
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
Today is Christmas Day. How humbling to think that God gifted us with His Presence by coming to this world as a precious baby. Just for all of us. It is amazing to me how gracious God continues to be to us even when we are so undeserving. This year for Christmas I got the most precious gift I suppose I will ever receive. I cannot wait until I can get my hands on this precious bundle from heaven. There will never be a grandchild more loved. To be part of this life is such a priviledge and an honor. To influence a new life is such a responsibility. I am already praying that I do not let this little darling down.
Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift...the gift of Your Holy Son that was sent here to save us all......including this precious grandbaby
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christmas Time!!!
Hey Y'all,
I tried to finish all my Christmas shopping today. Tried is the key word. It took me ONE hour to get out of the mall parking lot. Then I went to TJ Maxx where I proceeded to practically get in a fistfight with 2 people(?) who blocked my car in so they could grab a "drank". I usually say a drink but then I did assume they were people too. then I slid across the street to "The Fresh Market". My favorite grocery store next to Harris Teeter. Everyone there is so nice and the store is so pretty and festive. I wanted to buy a beef tenderloin to fix for my extended family get-together on Christmas night but there were only two left and one was 79.22 and the other was 81.56. So I guess we will be eatin' hamburger helper with the fam! Holy cow! Literally!! I did buy one Asian pear. It was so pretty in its little checkerboard sponge wrap. I can't wait to eat it. They are a little pricey too but since I am the only one who will eat them I splurged the 2.49 on myself. I got some really pretty stocking stuffers. They have lovely old world candy that my girls were convinced only Santa had at the North Pole. Those days are sadly gone but they are crushed if they don't get any. When I got home Megan and I went to Zumba and I kept my cool since all the ladies there were modest and didn't shimmy and shake all the way out the door. I have wrapped and wrapped and wrapped and now I am fixin' to take a bath. Praying that each one of my faithful readers has a deep sense of joy this Christmas. Times are hard. Life is hard. But the joy of Jesus is a soothing thing.
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
I tried to finish all my Christmas shopping today. Tried is the key word. It took me ONE hour to get out of the mall parking lot. Then I went to TJ Maxx where I proceeded to practically get in a fistfight with 2 people(?) who blocked my car in so they could grab a "drank". I usually say a drink but then I did assume they were people too. then I slid across the street to "The Fresh Market". My favorite grocery store next to Harris Teeter. Everyone there is so nice and the store is so pretty and festive. I wanted to buy a beef tenderloin to fix for my extended family get-together on Christmas night but there were only two left and one was 79.22 and the other was 81.56. So I guess we will be eatin' hamburger helper with the fam! Holy cow! Literally!! I did buy one Asian pear. It was so pretty in its little checkerboard sponge wrap. I can't wait to eat it. They are a little pricey too but since I am the only one who will eat them I splurged the 2.49 on myself. I got some really pretty stocking stuffers. They have lovely old world candy that my girls were convinced only Santa had at the North Pole. Those days are sadly gone but they are crushed if they don't get any. When I got home Megan and I went to Zumba and I kept my cool since all the ladies there were modest and didn't shimmy and shake all the way out the door. I have wrapped and wrapped and wrapped and now I am fixin' to take a bath. Praying that each one of my faithful readers has a deep sense of joy this Christmas. Times are hard. Life is hard. But the joy of Jesus is a soothing thing.
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Being Still.......
Hey Y'all,
This is a picture of my snow owl that sits in my Christmas tree. Isn't he just the cutest? I love birds and I have several on my tree.
Here are some shots from my yard from the snowstorm that has just blasted the east coast. It was so beautiful falling. Quiet, serene, peaceful.
I sure hope it snows in heaven.
Nothing is quieter than snow falling. You can almost hear each flake land if you close your eyes and truly be still.
I like to think that God is whispering within each flake. "Be still, child, be still...."
I have had alot of things on my mind and heart as of late. Things that I know need to be left at the foot of the cross and left there. For me to just be still before the Lord and allow Him to take care of them. Is anything harder??? I am a fixer and a take charge kind of gal and to let anything alone is beyond myself. But, I need to allow God to go beyond my beyond and take care of.....everything.
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
This is a picture of my snow owl that sits in my Christmas tree. Isn't he just the cutest? I love birds and I have several on my tree.
Here are some shots from my yard from the snowstorm that has just blasted the east coast. It was so beautiful falling. Quiet, serene, peaceful.
I sure hope it snows in heaven.
Nothing is quieter than snow falling. You can almost hear each flake land if you close your eyes and truly be still.
I like to think that God is whispering within each flake. "Be still, child, be still...."
I have had alot of things on my mind and heart as of late. Things that I know need to be left at the foot of the cross and left there. For me to just be still before the Lord and allow Him to take care of them. Is anything harder??? I am a fixer and a take charge kind of gal and to let anything alone is beyond myself. But, I need to allow God to go beyond my beyond and take care of.....everything.
Bless Y'all,
Cindy
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Some thoughts.....
Hey Y'all,
Here are some things I have been thinking as of late..... Why do I agonize over Christmas decorations like I do??? I act as if I am decorating the White House (I wish I was!!!) with the way I fuss and rearrange and move things about. Believe me when I say I am the only one who ever notices whether or not my snow owl is peeking out at the right angle from the tree.
Why do some women go to the gym to flaunt their not so hot selves and look (and act) like loose women????? Where is there self-respect? Their morality? It makes me just want to give them either a good shake or a fierce hug and tell them to just stop and look in the mirror!!! Yes, I have been at the gym again.
Why are families falling apart right and left? From famous people who have cameras shoved in their faces all the time to ordinary people with extraordinary problems that are just hammering away at their homes.
This is my first Christmas with one of my girls out of the house and the changes in my home this year have been tremendous. This adjustment is hard and I do believe it will get harder before it gets any easier. I am so sorry to sound so blue and gloomy but that is my mood this day and I just cannot pull myself out of it. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better. At least until I get to the gym for Zumba class and then I will fire up again!
Bless y'all!!!
Cindy
Here are some things I have been thinking as of late..... Why do I agonize over Christmas decorations like I do??? I act as if I am decorating the White House (I wish I was!!!) with the way I fuss and rearrange and move things about. Believe me when I say I am the only one who ever notices whether or not my snow owl is peeking out at the right angle from the tree.
Why do some women go to the gym to flaunt their not so hot selves and look (and act) like loose women????? Where is there self-respect? Their morality? It makes me just want to give them either a good shake or a fierce hug and tell them to just stop and look in the mirror!!! Yes, I have been at the gym again.
Why are families falling apart right and left? From famous people who have cameras shoved in their faces all the time to ordinary people with extraordinary problems that are just hammering away at their homes.
This is my first Christmas with one of my girls out of the house and the changes in my home this year have been tremendous. This adjustment is hard and I do believe it will get harder before it gets any easier. I am so sorry to sound so blue and gloomy but that is my mood this day and I just cannot pull myself out of it. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better. At least until I get to the gym for Zumba class and then I will fire up again!
Bless y'all!!!
Cindy
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