Hard Prayers

Last week I had my "sisters" over for an evening of fun, fellowship and prayer time.  We have not gotten together in a while and it was a much needed night.  There were nine of us and all found show up and I know that was just a God-thing.  Our lives are all so busy and just full.  Most of us had "minor" prayer requests to share with the others and all of us had praises to offer but there were two of us that just broke my heart.  One of my sweet sisters is losing her husband to brain cancer.  Probably sooner than later.  She just broke down.  You see....they found each other later in life and after both had devastating divorces.  Both were single for many years but God brought them together and now....this.  She will most likely be a widow at just 57 years old.  The other sweet sister is a widow and has been for 4 years at the age of 54 she lost her high school sweetheart to cancer.  And the funny thing is these ladies have children that are now married to one another and a grandson they share.  God is teaching one to help the other through a horrible season.  My dear friend that is a widow also broke down.  She is so very lonely....a feeling I totally get.  But she has also never grieved her husband.  She has and is the "strong" one.  I totally get that too.  Now that I am in my 50's and have married the absolute love of my life my loneliness has dissolved and I cannot imagine life without my husband.  I just weep at the thought of going through that like my friends are and have.  That sounds so very selfish.  Why them and not me?  I don't know.  God is sovereign and He has a plan.  A good plan.  It may not seem good but that is what He always offers His children.  His plans are good.....because He is good.  These are hard prayers.  Hard.  Life on this earth is sometimes so very hard.  But this is not our home and truly we are passing through.  For the believer our home is with Jesus.  For eternity.  Forever.  As time here either drags by or flies it is still only temporary.  I was praying this morning for my friend because her husband is going to try one last treatment to give him a little more time.  What kind of time?  I don't know....just time.  My prayers were hard and I ended up saying to the Lord that I just didn't know how to pray.  The right words would not come.  I am so thankful that Jesus stands at the right hand of the Father to intercede for these hard prayers we send up.  So thankful.