Friday, January 6, 2017
It's Startin' to Get Real, Y'all
We have set a wedding date. Can you believe it??? I keep thinking that at any given moment David is going to look over at me and lay his hand out and say, "Fooled ya! Now gimme back that ring, chicky." Except....he won't. I keep telling myself that. Over and over. He loves me. He really, really loves me. Satan just loves to whisper in your ear and into your heart lie after lie. He whispers things like, "he doesn't really love you and he is going to take off the first chance" or "why in this world would he ever choose a hairbrain like you??" The lies go on and on. But I just hung up on the phone with him about 30 minutes ago and he just called because he wanted to tell me that he missed me. He missed me. How about that. We are having a rare snow storm here in North Carolina. Major milk and bread alert. You know, for milk sandwiches. But for safety sake we are each in our homes for probably the whole weekend. And I miss him. Very much. I cannot wait to spend each and every day and night with him. To wake up with him. To eat breakfast and drink coffee with him each morning. to come home from work and wait for him to pull up the driveway so I can run and fluff my hair and put on lipstick so I can greet him at the door. To cook supper for him. To talk of our day together. To take a bath and slip into my pajamas and crawl into our bed so we can do that all over again and again and again. It's getting real y'all. Getting real. Planning a wedding that is simple is harder than you think. We really do not want a lot of hoopla. Just a simple ceremony and cake. Fancy, huh? We are having it at the church where I have attended for over 30 years with my pastor officiating. My pastor thinks so highly of David and is genuinely thrilled for me. David comes with me often and my deepest desire and prayer is that he comes all the time with me. Sunday school, Sunday night, Sunday morning and I would love for him to be a part of the Wednesday night men's Bible study. He has a very small church family and is attached to them. They only meet once per week for a sermon and we are just the opposite. Something is going on there every day it seems. It's hard. But we both desire a firm foundation for our marriage and desire to be fed and instructed in the Word of God. Both of us are praying and seeking God's will for this area. I'm trying to let God have this area but it is so hard. Don't think for a moment that Satan is not using this fiery dart. He whispers to me, "see??? girl, you can't even get this new man to come to church", "you're a big, fat, loser" But greater is He that is in me than he who is in the world!!! I am fervently praying over this and God will answer and take care of this. Just trying to keep it real for y'all. But back to wedding plans. They are coming together. I ordered a dress that I really like and I just hope it is as pretty in person. I do need shoes....but when do I not?? I asked my friend Kelley to sing since she always said she would and she is. I have picked out some songs to play for music and David is thinking about some to add. Just instrumental. We are having no attendants and just family and friends. Close friends. I could have a bunch of people because there are so many that I just love and adore but David really doesn't want anything super big and honestly I don't either. Part of me wishes we had just ran off last weekend!! I would be snuggled up with my husband right now if we had. Our kids are excited and for that I am glad. So thankful I am that they all get along and really like one another. This weekend is giving me a chance to go through my house and start to think about what to keep and what to sell and what to throw out. So overwhelming! I just left my mama's house and that is another issue that aches. I have lived with or beside my parents for all but a couple of years of my life. I am so used to running across the yard. Sending my sweet, precious grandbabies across the yard on their tractors and tricycles to go to Grammy's and Paw's house. I'm going to miss them so very much. Checking on them each day. Just looking out the window and seeing that they are there if I need them or that I am here if they need me. That is going to be really hard. But that is part of it. Leave and cleave. I will still see them several times a week and I am only going a few miles. I can't live for them either. They really think so much and truly like David and trust me into his care. That means so much. I may be old but I am still their little girl. This new life I am about to step into is exciting and just a tiny bit scary. But it is a good kind of scary. The unknown of married life with him. I want to do things right. Be a good wife. Please him. Be supportive. Pray for him as a wife can only pray for a husband. It is starting to get really real.....and I can't wait!