my babies

my babies

Friday, October 7, 2016

What is happy?

Last night we went to our local high schools Homecoming game. I always love that.  Such a good feeling of community and support for the local kids.  Working at the elementary school and seeing all those sweet boys who are now big. burly football players is such fun.  Seeing the pretty little girls grow up to be even prettier young ladies is equally as great.  While we were in line at the concession stand I saw one of the 2nd grade teachers at my school.  She has precious twin daughters who went to my school.  I talked with them a bit and we went to sit and enjoy the game.  We won!!

Today at school this teacher asked me if that was my boyfriend i was with.  I smiled and said yes.  And then I went on to tell her just how sweet he is.  And not just how sweet but how genuinely kind he is...all the time.  Then she said this, " You are just so different now.  You are just so happy.  It just shows all the time."  Well, of course I just cried.   When you do not know that your not really happy.  Or that you just kind of swim in a sea of sadness, loneliness, despair and the like and then you live overwhelmed with happy thought, plans, ideas.  I suppose the change is very evident.  Don't get me wrong.  Every day in my old life was not miserable.  I just did not really ever have any sustained happiness.  When you are always tense.  always on guard.  On edge....it wears you down.  Now before all you "Christians" get in a tizzy, I do know the difference in happiness and joy in spiritual terms.  I do and have had the joy of the Lord.  His joy overflows all the time.  But you can still be sad and all the negative things while experiencing the joy of god.  His joy is a whole other thing.  But ow....even when I am stressed, I'm happy.  When I am tired, weary, and just worn....I smile.  The edginess is gone.  the loneliness, the guard I had up....gone.  I am learning how to relax.  Actually relax!!  I don't think that has happened to me since I was a kid!  My stress level is almost gone for the most part.  And for all that!!!  I am so glad it shows.  I am just praising the Lord for His perfect plan.  God is just so good and He shows us in the sweetest ways....with the sweetest people sometimes too!

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