my babies

my babies

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Swept Away...

Well, I have a confession to make....I have been whole-heartedly, 100%, like totally dude...swept away.  This guy came into my life and he was carrying two brooms.  I was that stubborn and fought it hard.  But somehow ...I have fallen for this man.  I have fell hard.  Very hard.  I have never in my life been treated so kindly.  So gently.  With such tenderness.  Such grace.  In my life.  My LIFE.  I am so overwhelmed that I am even crying as I type this.  Being suspicious by nature I questioned every single thing he did.  What do you want??  Why are doing this??  Why would you ask that??  When you have lived your total adult life without any sense of what a real, true relationship is and how it should work....well, you just do not have a clue what you have missed.  And oh Lordy, I have missed a bunch.   I was told by a dear friend that the way this man is treating me is the sweetest thing she has ever seen.  What tickles her the most are my reactions.  Evidently being overwhelmed is quite becoming to me.  This wonderful man was also involved in a very painful divorce with very similar circumstances.  Hurt deeply.  Swore off ever finding anyone else.  Choosing to live a life alone.  Closed off and safe.  Sounds like me! I had prayed for a certain type of man for God to provide.  I even sorta kinda sent God a requisition sheet of sorts.  God, he needs to be this, this, and this.  Do this and that.  Have those and few of these.  And the list got longer all the time.  As my heart got tighter and tighter behind the wall I have erected.  Funny....this guy said the same exact thing.  But we are both in a whirlwind of emotion and desires and thoughts of future things it is just too much for me to put into words.  I am a very, very vocal girl but I keep most people at an arms length and I keep most of my personal life closed.  I am not on facebook.  I kinda steer people away from any really deep questions about me.  Safer that way.  Safe.....not what it is cracked up to be.  Stepping out into this tornado is both thrilling and scary at the same time.  We both said we feel like teenagers.  Thank the Lord we don't totally act like them but we are not far!!  We giggle and cut up and talk and talk for hours.  It took him a very long time to even kiss me.  To be honest...I thought I would come unglued.  The chemistry and attraction is...hard to explain.  Don't worry sports fans.....that is far as it goes.  I am not married to him but I am not dead either.  Believe it or not 50 something women are still women.  But to have these emotions boil up from deep within this heart that I have carefully wrapped and shrouded??  Well...let's just say is wonderful.  God is just so good.  I had resigned to just be single and never meet anyone.  Then God in His awesome timing sent a blessing that I never imagined or dreamed or even thought of.  How good is that??  Very good.  Very.

2 comments:

ddeckerblog said...

What???? You been keeping secrets! This is awesome! ;-)

Tracy said...

Kelley has kept me informed, I know because of your obedience to the word and the careful way you have handled yourself over the years, you will be blessed...Love you