my babies

my babies

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Boyfriend School

My girlfriends are so super jealous of my boyfriend that one of them suggested he teach a course on, "How to Treat your Mature Woman".  This guy is just unreal outrageous in how he treats me.  For instance, this week I had to have my first colonoscopy.  Yep, that is when you know that you have tipped over into the town of "Oldham".  Next to come is Denture City then Bifocal Boulevard and then of course you will only wear what I affectionately call....screw-on pants.  You know, all elastic waist that you can simply twist on....up to your armpits.  Fancy look and Fancy is my name.  Anyway...So to make me feel relaxed and pampered he did the following....sent me that obscene bouquet of flowers on Monday.  Bought special groceries for a special dinner that he cooked.  On Thursday (prep day...I do not want to talk at all about that) he called and texted to check on me a billion times.  I would not let him come by...for obvious reasons that I am not discussing.  On Friday morning (big procedure day) he called me at seven in the morning and said I left you a little something in your door.  He gave me the most beautiful card with the most romantic things written inside that were just perfect!!  He knew a nurse at the office where I was and texted her where she proceeded to tell me that she had been instructed to take special care of me.  And she did...so nice.  Then he picked me up around five, brought me back to his house where he let me take a bath in his gigantically long and deep bathtub with candles and music and oils and he made sure that I locked both doors even though he told he would never come in.  So there I laid in the most luxurious bath of my life listening to music, candles a-burning while my man (I think I like that better than boyfriend)  cooked a fantastic meal for me.  Then after dinner...are you ready for this????  He gave me a pedicure.  I sat on the couch while he layed on the floor and did my toes.  Oh.  My.  Goodness!!  If I did not love Jesus........well, daddy get the shotgun out is all I am saying.  Then he took me home.  I told my friends Kelley and Sherry about this and they begged me to make him teach their husbands a thing or two.  Kelley said that Billy wanted to know if she wanted a hand-truck for Christmas...She gave him an evil look and then told him all about what my man is doing for me and then (poor) Billy said, "That guy is ruining my life!!!"  My friends all say that I deserve all this....I'm not sure I believe all that but I do know I am loving this and I am falling so madly, deeply in love with this man I cannot see straight.  The way he treats me, the way he talks to me, the wonderful things he says, the way he prays for me (you hear that??)  He prays for me...out loud...with me sitting right there.  I am officially and absolutely swept away and would gladly let him teach "Boyfriend School".

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