The Names Of God

Tonight at church we are having our monthly ladies meeting.  Faith Women.  Wow, we are so original with our group name!  Each month I have been teaching a lesson on the names of God.  Each one has just been so amazing to me and so applicable for the things going on in my life.  Tonight is no exception.  I choose the one we do with care and really pray about it.  This month god directed me to Jehovah-Jireh.  It means:  the LORD our Provider.  I have really struggled with this name.  This meaning.  Yes, I know the Lord provides and yes, I know that he loves us and will meet our needs and take on our cares.  But sometimes.....I doubt.  A few weeks ago I had an encounter that I came away from thinking, "Wow!, that was a God thing"  And it opened a door I have been praying about for an incredibly long time.  And then.....nothing.  A few people kind of helped and intervened but....nothing.  So I am left thinking.  Was I wrong?  Was God not in this??  Is He teasing me??  I have been overwhelmed by the feelings of disappointment and flat out despair.  I have honestly felt that God has just dangled a carrot that this old rabbit can't even jump to get.  I feel like an old nag trying to reach this carrot.  But is He Jehovah-Jireh or not?  Does He provide?  The text refers us to Genesis 22:5.  Where Abraham tells us that God will provide the sacrifice.  He lays his son on the altar and prepares to sacrifice him when....God does intervene.  He provides the ram for old Abe to sacrifice.  If you listen close you can hear Isaac's'  heart beating a mile a minute and Abraham's breathing 90 breaths a second!  Don't you know he wept with relief as he sacrificed the ram??  So will God provide for me?  Was my encounter a God-thing?  Yes and I still think so.  I am just waiting.  Playing the waiting game is no fun at all because let's face it....we all want to win and win big and win now.  We do not like the consolation prizes. At least I don't.  So what do I do while I wait?  Now that is hard because my natural self gripes and grumbles and worries.  Is there a place in my life where you are waiting on God to provide like I am?  Am I being obedient to the basic things that God has asked of me....of us??  Reading His word?  Praying?  Tithing?  Showing generosity and love to those in need?  Forgiving others who have wronged us (me)??  Perhaps if I take a step out into the land of Obedience and do the things that God asks of me and all of us....provision will follow.  Now God does not work on a reward system nor a bargaining system.  That would make Him too much like us!  I have seen first hand provision to my own life when I have been in complete disobedience.  That is Grace....but being obedient because He asks and because I want to and I need to...that's faith and love.  And He does love us so.