my babies

my babies

Friday, September 4, 2015

What defines me

We have been in school for two whole weeks now.  Ten down and 170 to go!!  So far things have gone pretty well.  We have a new manager and a new principal.  So far they are working out great.  I have gotten to volunteer and take my little grand daughter home a few times and that is a joy to me.  Piper is doing great!  No tears at all.  I don't care if a child has been in daycare since they were six weeks old.  School is different.  By the end of the first couple of weeks you start to see some meltdowns and some serious anxiety in these little five year olds.  School is hard!!  Some days it makes me cry!  Piper has been making sweet little friends and watching her at lunch is so much fun.  she carefully unpacks her lunch.  She opens all her stuff and when she can't (she tries too!) she raises her little hand and either the teacher or assistant helps her.  I am really trying not to rush over and help her ....but it is so hard!  I do slip over and ask her if she is having a good day.  She just smiles.  At home and at my house she never stops talking but at school she is very quiet.  On Wednesday she did wave her fingers at me and gave me the smallest little smile.  Today she waved at me twice and smiled bigger.  Watching her grow up is such a blessing and such an honor.  I was reminded by a dear teacher friend of mine this week that all the times I tried to transfer to another school because I wanted a more prestigious job (I thought) or one with a classier title and it never worked out.  I interviewed several times and was second choice at least twice (I was told) and it never worked out.  She reminded me that it was a "God Thing".  She is right.  If I was somewhere else I would not get to see my little ones come through those early school years.  In two short years Savannah will join her.  Then soon after that...Brooks...after that Megan's babies.  Looks like I will never retire.  And you know what??  For all the years I tried to leave and go somewhere else to "better" myself...I can finally say, I was so wrong.  There is nothing wrong with my job.  The older I get the less I care about the opinions of others.  Now I do care what they think.  We all do.  I don't like it when people think bad of me.  But as far as my job goes???  Not anymore.  My job does not define me.  But seeing that precious girl give me that shy smile and wiggle her little fingers to me.  That, my friends, defines me.  Watching her mommy bring her sister and brother to eat lunch with her today and have Savannah run and hug me and see Brooks big ole sappy grin when he sees his Mimi....that defines me.  Seeing my daughter be such a good mommy?  That defines me.  Watching my other daughter blossom in her pregnancy with a glow that is so gorgeous on her...that defines me.  God is just so good to me.  Jobs??  That is just something we do.  Just like taking out the trash, mopping the floors, laundry, buying groceries and all the other mundane chores of life.  I just want my children and their children to know that I loved Jesus, served Him to the best of my ability and that I loved them with all my heart and served them too.  Getting the opportunity to greet and smile and listen to hundreds of other little ones.....that's just gravy....and I love gravy.

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