my babies

my babies

Monday, December 23, 2013

The fun never stops...

Today was a day that I would like to just forget.  It has rained for the last 964 hours as hard as it can and my dog will not leave the garage.  I made Trisha Yearwood's Crockpot Candy which is so good I cannot stand it....and I have single-handed eaten 94% of it all by myself.  Even my fat pants don't fit.  I decided today that I would finish wrapping my presents and my little Piper wanted to help me.  Wrapping with a 3 year old is....fun?  Let's just say that name tags are a plenty on each gift and bows are in the oddest places but oh well...it all goes in the trash anyway.  Both my girls were here earlier and Megan bought a great wreath for her door at Hobby Lobby for 66% off and she needed a wreath hanger.  I have a slew of them (have I ever mentioned I am a hoarder??).  I went to my basement into a storage closet that I store Christmas and Fall decorations where I had several wreath hangers suspended from a big nail that is the rafter beams of the basement ceiling.  When what to my wandering eyes did appear (quick...name that poem...again!!) but a snake!!!  That's right people a snake.  Its demon head peeped over the beam at me and get this...it stuck its tongue out at me.  As if to say I have been here for weeks and watched you haul all of this stuff out and you never knew it...na-na-na-naaaa.  Needless to say I screamed like a banshee and ran for my life.  Visions of pythons dancing in my head.  When I got upstairs I was breathless and screaming.  I wasn't screaming really loud because i was breathless....I really need to exercise more if for no reason so that my screams can be heard from the bottom of my steps.  Erica my quick-thinker called my daddy next door.  Megan...well she ran for truck and said see ya...wouldn't want to be ya!  So once again to my rescue was my daddy.  Sweet old Paw....he is a cowboy and a super-hero all in one.  My daddy has an artificial arm due to a work accident 30 years ago and his hook makes and awesome snake catcher.  More than once he has snapped one right up....eeewwwww!  So within 2 minutes here he comes up the steps with this monster snake who was planning to kill me tonight in my sleep I am sure.  All 18 inches of his blackness.  So while I am screaming for him to kill it and kill it real good, my daddy proceeds to just fling it into the woods....still alive!!!  I just stand there in my garage all slack-jawed and say, "It's going to come back to kill me later Daddy!!  What are you doing letting it live???"  He just laughs and walks home.  Clint Eastwood woulda shot it.  So now I will keep my Christmas stuff up forever because I am never going back to that snake hole again.  Meanwhile I told my attack dog, Penny, that she is now on testy ground with me.  She is to kill anything that breathes, moves or even smells funny in this house. She understands and is on board with this plan because I showed her a picture of the "farm" that all dogs are threatened with if she doesn't pull her weight.  Good grief, I need a nap....or another piece of candy!

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