The Hardest Part

I went to a funeral today.  It was for my dear friend, Kelley's, mother-in-law.  Just four short weeks ago Faye was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer.  It had already spread to her liver and elsewhere in her body. Faye was 80 years old and she told her family that she had elected to do nothing about this cancer.  The family did not object to her decision.  She was told she may have a few months to live.  Faye lasted almost 4 weeks.  So fast.  My friend prayed for her to not suffer and to just go ahead and die.  The "Death Watch" we endure.  This sounds so awful to the non-believer but Faye knew the Lord and death has no sting for those that know Him.  The last few days she started to suffer and it was a relief for her to go into the presence of God.  The funeral home was last night.  I waited for a long time in the line and when I got into the visitation room I viewed a family that was mostly smiles.  Hugging people and thanking them for coming.  Visitors telling them all the things we say at funeral homes. " I am praying for y'all.  She was such a wonderful woman.  She will be so missed."  Or some just said nothing at all.  Just hugged.  This "Death Ballet" we orchestrate through.  I watched at the funeral today her grandson Paul preach the funeral for his maw-maw.  Hard stuff.  Paul is Kelley's son and she is so proud of him.  She should be.  Wonderful sermon and tribute to his maw-maw.  Before the family came in I watched the funeral director walk forward slowly and with such a gentle hand he closed the casket.  I never really paid attention before at other funerals to this action.  The last face on earth to see Faye lying there was a stranger.  The next person to see her from this earth won't be a stranger.  Each one of us die.  Not getting out of it unless Jesus comes back first.  One of the many blessings of the whole death business is seeing our loved ones that know God in heaven.  Paul will see his maw-maw again.  Kelley will see her again.  After the graveside prayers were over I hugged my friend.  She just cried  and said, "I didn't think today would be hard, but it is.  It's the hardest part."  I agree.  Leaving the living is hardest for the living.  Really hard.  Yes, for the Christian we know we will see them again and spend eternity together.  But until that day comes.  It is just plain hard.  My other friend, Tracy lost a lifetime friend this week too.  I also knew Myra.  She was just 48 when cancer stole her life. This has been a very tough week for our intimate community.  Very tough.  Time will pass.  We will go on living.  We will laugh more and cry less until there comes a day when we talk of them and no tears flow at all.  It does get easier, but for now it is just hard.

A Sprinkle

This past Sunday afternoon Erica's sweet friend April and Megan gave Erica a "Sprinkle" for the new baby.  Instead of a big baby shower this was just a small one to bless the mommy to be with a few necessities for this new little life coming very soon.   I think this is the cutest idea and the sweetest little name for a party.

Here is a photo of April, Erica and Megan before the Sprinkle.

They made all kinds of yummy treats to eat.  April made cupcakes into an owl formation because Erica is using owls in the baby's room.  Se the little owls hanging on the centerpiece?

Erica got some really neat things and so many people came.  It was a lot of fun!  This is her childhood dearest friend Beth talking with Piper over something I am sure is of the utmost importance!

The sweet Mommy with her squiggly toddler who just wanted down!

This is the crib all set up.  I love the bedding!  The back of the bumpers is a pattern of owls that are pink and green.  I should have taken a shot of them from that angle.  I will next time....with a sweet little baby girl lying there!

I love showers or sprinkles.  They are just fun to go to and fun to give.  If I could do showers and such for a living I would in a minute!!

Seasons

Nothing much happening in my neck of the woods though I am busy all the time.  At the end of the week I am just exhausted and would like to just lay back and do a big fat nothing!  But that I suppose is for another season in my life.  Not this one for sure!!  A few things I still cram into my schedule no matter what.  One of those is American Idol.  I haven't blogged about it this year at all but I am loving all these kids.  They are so good.  I was absolutely crying last night when Colton got kicked off.  That really was unexpected.  He was really good and so super sweet.  He is a Christian and I loved how he left the show singing his favorite worship song by Lifehouse.  I noticed how most of the other contestants were singing it with him and crying their eyes out.  He really is a class act and I do hope he pursues the Christian music route.  My favorite is Phillip Phillips.  Love, love, love him!!!!  I wouldn't pitch a fit if any of them won but I would prefer Phillip.  I am also trying to catch up on my scrapbooking.  I really want to like doing it but.... I don't.  I wish I was one of those people who loves crafts and just worked at them all the time but.... I don't.  Maybe that will be something else I will enjoy in a different season of my life.  I mentioned that I was busy.  And I am.  I usually have people over for dinner several times a week.  I do things with friends like auctions and stuff.  It is amazing to me how I was so much lonelier when I was married.  That sounds strange since I am a single woman of a certain age but truly I am rarely hit by waves of loneliness now.  When I was married I spent years being lonely.  I do hope to marry again someday.  If God sends someone my way that would please me to know end.  I love the thought of being married.  Sure, I know there are troubles in marriage and lots of difficulties.  It is lots of work!  But, the benefits of marriage when it is right.  Well, they are so rewarding.  Commitment...true commitment.  It is essential to any relationship whether marriage partners, family or just friends.  Loyalty and faithfulness are backbones of marriage.  I know most young people think, "What about love??"  Of course you must love that person but you also need much deeper things than just basic love.  Today's society puts way too much emphasis on physical beauty, appearances and the like.  I know tons of people that are pretty but shallow and ugly acting.  Then I know lots of people who might not be the worlds standard of beautiful that just glow with a beauty that is unmatched.  I am not really looking for anyone at this season of my life.  I have a new grand daughter coming soon.  Piper is growing so fast and I spend every second I can with that little sweetie.  Megan is coming into her own and really growing into a wonderful young woman.  It won't be long before she will be planning a wedding and a future.  At least I think!  Erica is turning into a wonderful little mommy and wife.  My parents are entering a funny stage right now but I know sooner than I would like they will need me more than they will probably like.  In God's timing He will provide a special someone for me.  I have no doubts.  I might be in a busy season right now but I know there will come times when I will wish for stuff to fill my time.  It is the nature of life.  We all have ebbs and flows of events and changes to our lives.  I am just so thankful for the season I am in right now.  It may be busy but it is fulfilling and overflowing with just pure joy.  Sure, there are some problems and lots of trials but for the most part I am happier than I have ever been.  For that, I just thank the Lord!!

Believe

This weekend I joined 12 other ladies from my church for our annual district ladies retreat in Asheville, NC.  The weather was gorgeous.  We could not have had more beautiful days.  When we got there we got settled and did a little walking around in downtown Black Mountain.  It is the quaintest little town and such great restaurants.  When we got back to the retreat center my friend Kelley and i went downstairs to get everyones' name tags and itinerary.  We had to cut through a conference room that connects two hallways.  The doors were closed because another ladies group was in there practicing their praise and worship music.  At first I told Kelley we shouldn't go inside since the door was closed but the sounds coming from there were fabulous.  We crept in and sat in some seats by the door.  We were blown away.  These ladies could sing!!!  We spoke with a few there and told them we just couldn't resist listening to these singers.  They were the kindest women.  So welcoming and so gracious.  They asked us to come to their services and we both looked at each other like, "should we??  could we??"  We told her we would think about it.  As the day progressed we decided that we would just slip into their service to listen to that group of ladies sing and then slip back into ours.  There was a 30 minute start time difference so we were not really missing anything.  Now normally, I am not that kind of church girl.  I follow the rules and I go with who I come with and I stay with them until the end.  But I felt such a draw to these women.  When we got to ours we slipped out and took another friend with us.  When we got inside their room to say that we were guilt ridden is minor.  I felt terrible but I stayed anyway.  The music was just beautiful.  So worshipful.  Then a sweet lady gave a short testimony on fear.  How she had been paralyzed by fear concerning some things in her life.  I so understood her.  I never thought of myself being fearful until the last couple of years.  I have been in such a grip of fears it is unreal.  Irrational ones. Fears that make no sense but keep me captive.  Strongholds.  This was just what I needed to hear Friday.  When we slipped back into our service I was just so distracted and my a.d.d. kicked into overdrive.  Afterwards Kelley, Sandra and I talked with our other dear friend, Angie about our little slip in - slip out adventure.  I told my friends that I was going to go back to those services on Saturday.  What that sweet woman spoke on with her fears was just what I needed.  We decided we would all go back on Saturday night.  We did and it was so wonderful.  I never wanted to leave and neither did the others.  This group was from a Church of God denomination and they get a little charismatic.  But worship styles differ all around and I was not bothered at all.  I have been know to raise my hands in worship and so have my friends.  I cry in church all the time.  Not loud or anything but I am often moved by God to tears...either joy, conviction or from just pure praise.    But these women had it going on!!  The worship music was some of the most powerful worship I have ever been a part of.  Pure Praise.  The message was on believing God's promises.  It was centered on the life of Joseph and all the trials he went through even though he knew God had promised him great things through his prophetic dreams.  We were to jot down any common things we shared with Joseph.  I wrote:  discouragement, life made difficult by others, being prepared through unusual training ground, believing for others but not for myself, what tempts me,  and a few more.  The speaker then said one of the most profound statements I have ever heard.  "What God designs that I may consider an imprisonment is really an enlargement."  When I think I am pressed down and confined by God, He is really preparing me for something bigger, better and much more than I can imagine.  God only reveals His promises to us....not the the trials that get us to them.  When the speaking was over and they sang again many women went forward to place their cards in a container as if laying them at the feet of God.  Many women prayed over the ones going forward.  It was just precious to watch.  The prayer team gave the women a necklace that came forward that had a few stones on it and a small gold oval that was inscribed with the word "believe".  This was to be a reminder for them to believe God for His promises.  They will be fulfilled.  None of us four went forward because we felt so blessed and honored to just be there and to just worship.  One of the pastor's wives came up to us and said that she knew we didn't feel we should go forward but that God loved us and then she gave us each a necklace.  It was one of the most precious gifts I have ever received.  I don't want to ever be the same woman again.  I want to live as if I believe.  To really live it.  Sunday morning we went back with our own ladies and it was so good.  We opened up with my favorite song ever.  "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing."  And that was like a hug from God to me that just said, "Believe, my child...just Believe."

Current Obsessions

In the last few weeks Piper's personality has really been popping out.  She is coming into her own little ways and patterns and let's just say she is hilarious.  Her vocabulary and communication skills have really blossomed.  She talks all the time and she is starting to sing along in the car and with the radio.  If she really likes the song she bobs her little head and just grins like a cat.  So cute.  Her favorite song is "I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy".  She throws her hands in the air like a deep down pentacostal wanna-be and says "Where" at the top of her lungs.  I love that!  She is also obsessed with coloring.  She is so smart and can identify several colors.  She really likes blue and orange.  She also loves princess coloring books the best.  I have a feeling we have a little priss-pot as my grandma said on our hands!  Piper really is very girly even though she is tough as nails.  I have this week out of school due to the blessed term..."Spring-Break."  SHHH...hear the angels????  I certainly do!!  So, I have little Miss Piper all week.  We are having a great time.  So far I have given her two pedicures.  She loves her toe nails painted.  We have practiced hairdos.  We have cooked together and we have read Elmo a bazillion times.  I love watching her grow up and am so enjoying each stage of her little life.  They change so fast and grow so quick.  I realize now how fast my own two girls grew up and now have the sense to really grasp these times with my grandbaby (and soon-to-be babies!!)  Here are a couple of photos from this past week.

Piper colors with great fury and such a serious face.  She gets right into each page!

One of her obsessions are anyone's high heeled shoes.  This pair belongs to Megan and Piper rocked them with her gym shorts.

Lets just say that bubbles are her very,very, VERY favorite thing right now.  Also, chocolate bunnies always taste better when eaten off a hot driveway with bubble coated hands.  That's how we like 'em!

Beautiful Sunday

Good Friday

When I think about just what this day truly, truly means my heart goes out to Mary.  The mother of Jesus.  The Christ.  The Messiah.  The One who saves us.  Saved me.  I cannot imagine the anguish and the pain that Jesus went through for the likes of me.  The heartbreak Mary must have felt.  Literally her heart must have broken in thousands of pieces on that Good Friday.  This video says it all.




Thank you, thank you, Jesus.

A Very Special Day

Twenty-five years ago this very night I went to the hospital to have a baby.  She was born at 10:55 a.m. on April 3, 1987.  Weighing in at 6 lbs 8 oz and 18 1/2 inches long.  She was so tiny, so sweet and so perfect.  I loved her with all my heart immediately.  I had previously had two very bad miscarriages and I wanted this baby more than anything.  And finally she was here.....

Now 25 years have just flown by so fast I can hardly believe it is true.  She is 25.  A quarter of a century.  Where has the time gone???  Seeing her today, all grown up is just amazing to me.  I watch her mother her own precious baby girl while she grows with a new baby girl each day.  She is such a good mommy.  So sweet, tender and kind with her baby.  I am very proud of Erica.  Her choices.  Her work ethic.  Her walk with God.  Is her life perfect?  Far from it.  Is she perfect?  No, but neither am I or her sister or anyone else for that matter.  What she has become is a wonderful young wife and mother who is daily in the need of God's mercy and grace.  Just like me.  Just like all of us.  I am baking her a birthday cake tonight and cooking her dinner tomorrow night.  Her husband is on third shift this week so she doesn't want to spend her birthday home by herself once Piper goes to bed.  As hard as it is for me to believe that my oldest girl is a full grown woman I have to accept the fact that she is and does it all very well.  I am so proud of you, sweetie.  Happy Birthday!  Love you, Mom