Changes for the good

During this past year I have experienced many, many changes. Most were drastic and not good. The death of my 27 year marriage. Devastating. This was the biggest change. Tied to it were many others. My finances were drastically changed. I have had to learn quite a few things that were foreign to me. Just every day life is different. I spend quite a bit of time alone and talking to myself. But there have been good changes too. The birth of my grand daughter, Piper. Fabulous. Watching my two grown daughter grow in their walk with the Lord. Huge blessing. Learning a new way of life. Hard but... getting not so hard. But I got a compliment the other night from one of my dearest friends, Kelley. She said that she could really start to see some changes in my life from the inside. She told me I was starting to be way more relaxed. This was soothing music to my weary soul. Before for many years I have been very uptight and stiff. I got a massage once about 3 years ago and the person who gave it to me said I was the most unrelaxed person they had ever worked on. No tip for you, buddy. But...they were right. Years had went by and I was just used to being tense. Always on the watch for anything out of the ordinary. But now I am more relaxed. I laugh more. I laugh deeper and longer over a whole lot of things that I never did before. Why is that?? I was so grateful for this bit of information but intrigued all the same. I think I am getting to a place where I am getting comfortable with ....well...life. Life as I know it anyway. I am depending on God like never before and He is providing. He is sheltering me from so many things that could enter my life if I allowed them. Worry, anxiety, fear (big one there), loneliness, isolation, anger, bitterness...the list could go on and on. I have my days and times of deep sorrow and sadness but not as often and farther between. God is so faithful and He keeps His promises. Why do I ever doubt His word? I don't know, except that I allow the enemy to filtrate things in my mind that ought not be there at all. I am praying against that very thing.